


buy civilization

by bonehandledknife (ladywinter)



Series: Tumblr Ficlet Liferaft [1]
Category: Jupiter Ascending (2015)
Genre: BAMF Jupiter, Gen, Taxes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-11
Updated: 2018-12-11
Packaged: 2019-09-16 05:21:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16947789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladywinter/pseuds/bonehandledknife
Summary: “I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.”― Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.Ficlet originally posted to tumblr. Reposting here because You Know Why





	buy civilization

So two weeks after getting Entitled, after Caine lets her try on The Boots for the first time and she gets her ass kicked around by both Caine and Stinger in what they call self defense training, Jupiter opens the door and find the splice on her doorstep looking grim and uncomfortable. She feels the edges of her eyes crawl in even as she opens them wider, to make sure she doesn’t blink in case she finds herself suddenly hauled into the air.

“What happened?”

Caine pauses, frowns at her, confused, “What makes you think something’s happened?”

She tiptoes to look over his shoulder, then peers at the sky. Nothing and nobody’s there, but Caine’s shoulders are up and his ears are twitching nervously.

“Is something going to explode again?”

“What, no, it’s not—”

“I mean I’m a little more ready this time but can we not do this—”

(“Jupiter?” her little cousin calls and she drags Caine off the porch and into the shadow of a bush)

“—here?” she finishes.

“Look, I don’t know what gave you the impression, but it’s not an emergency,” Caine huffs.

“It’s not?” Jupiter feels her eyebrow climb.

“Uh.”

“What is it then?” she pressed. “Why do you look like, like.” She squints at him and doesn’t say, _Like they’re going to tear your wings off again._

She doesn’t say, _Like we’re flying into a firestorm._

She doesn’t say, _Like Balem Abrasax just crawled out of a soup of people._

Caine shifts uncomfortably.

“Um,” he manages.

* * *

“These are the most unfortunate books I’ve ever laid eyes on and you should be,” whispers the bespectacled man, “ASHAMED.”

“But it’s just been two weeks!” Jupiter seethed, trying not to jump at the ridiculous shout, “How are my taxes already due? Actually, how are my accounts already messed up?”

[Fuligo Septica](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FFuligo_septica&t=NTg2MGMxODMzN2UzNzE3NmNkYjBhNGEyZTA5M2MwZTE0OTg2OTM4NCx0bUpSSTN2cw%3D%3D&b=t%3Ardo-IGRp-r2_sTHKIBDIKg&p=http%3A%2F%2Fbonehandledknife.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F111101024585%2Fi-really-should-watch-the-movie-again-before-i-do&m=1) (of Mucor, Septica, & Sons) sniffs, “Just because your fiscal year starts just before the universal accounting cycle does not give you leave to dodge the system, Your Majesty.” He shuffles the tablets importantly and slides over five forms, in triplicate, for her to give her mark. “No one is above TAXES.”

Caine is paging through her estate’s full listing of accounts, balance sheets, and statement of cash flows slowly, having been pressed into service somewhere between the third and fourth hour of going through her holdings. A low pained whine is rising from his throat. Fully five desks are covered with sheafs and the air space is crammed with holographic charts and figures.

A tic has been working its way from just below Jupiter’s eye to encompass the entire left side of her face. It’s actually, to her surprise, not about the numbers they’ve been going over since that morning. Even though she knows somewhat about budgets, there was simply no way for her to wrap her head around the the entirety of over 91,000 years of accumulated wealth. Jupiter accepts this.

What she doesn’t accept is the superiority rolling of Fuligo.

What she doesn’t accept is the faint air of victory around him; it reminds her of the scent in a bottle of ‘New Car Smell!’ she’d once found at a dealership.

Her mother had a tight look in her face that day, jaw clenched, nervous hands white knuckled around her purse, as she listens to the salesman tell her how the car is just like new. Her mother knew they needed the car so that they could drive to the rich neighborhoods to clean. Aleksa Jones had looked at that man and accepted his words, because she had no choice.

>  (“Yeah, there’s some things that you just can’t escape.”

>  “Death and taxes, young Majesty, none of us can.”)

Jupiter thinks of waking up before dawn even cracked to roll into that car, and looks at her new wealth (in units of 100 bodies now boiled down into liquid blue numbers) hanging in the air between them.

>  (“It should relieve me that you’re helping us then,” she says, monotone. “You’re supposed to be the best.

> “Only the best for Your Majesty.” )

She thinks how easy it would be, now that she has so much, to accept that she knows nothing and leave everything in the hands of this man and his slime smiles. And Jupiter gathers all the files down onto a single sheaf, simpler to hand over. 

>  (“Far ahead of even your nearest competitors. What was…” she drifts off. 

> “Minus Malum & Co.? You are correct we are far and aways better than them, Your Majesty.”)

Jupiter Jones thinks that she’d like to punch this little man in the face, once for every time he calls her by those two words, 'Your Majesty'. She does one better. 

> (“Then you should have no problem with them confirming your figures,” she states and rises with tablet in hand, Caine coming to heel at her left.“Y-your Majesty!” Fuligo’s face flickers between dawning horror and hastily cobbled together professionalism, “What are you—”

> “Thank you for helping me today,” Jupiter’s smile is tight, “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
> 
> “We’ve not yet gone through—”
> 
> “I think I’ll get another pair of eyes to look at this.”
> 
> “I really think—”

> “Yes I agree, we’ve sat here for too long. Time is money, right?” She smiles and it is sharp like a high heel driven into the back of a hand.)

Caine is looking at her like she’s the wind beneath his wings; Jupiter smiles and calls it a win. When they sweep from the room, Jupiter imagines it’s to a soundtrack composed by Hans Zimmer.


End file.
